Saturday, July 17, 2010

On The Verge of Breaking Down

(...background soundtrack by Shontelle - Impossible...)

It has been almost two months since my last entry. A lot had happened! Mixed feelings to put in a way. Happy that finally my management realized that we cannot afford to loose our people to the others. Happy beyond words as I had reached a BIG milestone, which many people in my organization had not even dreamed off all their working life. Sad that a good friend is leaving the company as he decided that he can no longer be apart from his family. Angry that everybody is so damn grossed up in trying to get good ratings by jeopardizing the integrity of the company.

Have been through so many difficult situations, bitch about it and move on. However, this time around I cannot get over it. I am just so angry beyond words that I believe it has manifested into physical pain. At this moment of this entry, I am having the most aggravating migraine. Why am I so affected with all the craziness?

Most of the people that I came across, seems to believe that it is business as usual but the truth to the matter is, we are in downward spiral and I am afraid we are not going to recover. Taking all this and it seems that I cannot hold in any longer.

Yesterday, in the most daring career suicide ever, I just had to speak up and highlight it to my management. How will this affect my career? Wait and see my entry at the end of this financial year.

So this is how it feels to almost break down. It is not an awesome feeling.

Dear God,

I am just your servant on this Earth and is helpless unless I am under Your grace. Please grant me strength to get through this situation. Please God, grant me the wisdom to be able to contribute more to my organization as this is for the good of all. Amin!


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