What The Hell Is Wrong With Me?

(...background music "Smells Like Teen Spirit by RHM feat. Shanade...)

This is entry is for me to figure what is wrong with me? Lately I am easily irritated and angry on things that did not happen as I expected. I am so worried about this as my limit was at its end. Thank God for the meeting in KL, which helped me to cool off.

It all started when I started to settle down in my new home. There were certain things that need to be settled at the old house and I felt that I was doing everything myself. Why are not the others helping me?

Then followed by people at work. This again is my fault. I set a very high standard on myself as an engineer. I expect that I should know the basic things and also the process of the plant that I am currently working with. On top of that, I also make sure that anything urgent and a priority, the asset owner will be aware of every single update. Unfortunately there are certain engineers who decided just to be present at work.

Present at work is what I call someone who just come to work for the sake of coming to work and has no desire to contribute. I am pissed with this type of people. In my opinion, there is no excuse that you are still a new engineer. This is because I was once a new engineer but I need to grow up quickly because there were lots of people depended on me.

Is it wrong to have the same expectation on the rest of the new engineers? I am not being unreasonable. After looking at things that made me damn angry, I realized that I am bothering myself with things that are beyond my control.

This contributes to lots of sleepless nights and stressful days. I know what to do. Always give 200% of myself to my work. Do not bother about the others. If to a certain point it irritates me beyond my threshold, I am going to give a piece of my mind. I plan not to keep it bottled up inside like what I am doing now. It is so not healthy.

Ciao!